Eulogy

Much the same as me posting the obituary in the previous post.  I'm posting a draft of the eulogy here.  Though I made some last minute changes on the stage and rearranged how I presented some of the address, this is the shell of what I said about my bride.  And yes... I wrote out the thank you comments and the hello/goodbye statements.  I relegated myself to reading this as much as possible and not trying to orate from memory.  Kept the emotions somewhat in check and provided an opportunity to say what I wanted to say and not leave something out.  I wanted to post it for record keeping purposes more than anything.  Should the day come where my girls come back and read this, I want them to see it without having to search too hard.

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Good Morning. 

Thank you for being here.

 

Today is certainly one I’ll remember. If for nothing else then to see a room of people for which Ashley made an impression.  There’s certainly something to be said for that.

 

Ashley was something special.  She was the one who brightened up a room just by being in it.  Any of you who spent any measurable time around her, you know what I’m talking about.  Her bright smile, big eyes, cheerful spirit were such a standout.  The way she carried herself and spoke to you… there was a gentleness and an encouragement that came along with it.  I’ve never met someone who was so endearing. 

 

Perhaps that’s what drew me in the first time we met 14 years ago.  Or maybe it was that she was smokin’ and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. (Shrug). In all seriousness, when I met Ashley for the first time, I had that feeling.  You know, the one; to quote Ash here, I had more than just a crush on her, I liked her ’big time’… but even with multiple reasons why pursuing her didn’t make sense; not the least of which was her still being in college 3 hours away from where I was living in East Texas at the time; when you meet someone like Ash, you don’t let her go. 

 

But, Let’s talk about recent history a little…

 

Life over the past four years was… interesting.  Filled with suffering, struggle, what seemed like trial after trial but, also, saturated with grace, patience, love and hope.  Ash’s life is one of the strongest examples I’ve ever seen of suffering well. Her thoughtfulness toward others even while in the midst of her own pain… it was such a tangible demonstration that Ashley’s life was centered around something other than herself.

 

Ashley’s faith was deep-abiding, it was concrete, it is the most telling thing about her.  It went so far as to speak less about WHAT she did, but more so about WHO she did it for. 

 

At a young age, on an Easter Sunday, she grabbed her mom’s hand in church, and insisted on proclaiming Jesus as Lord.  It was this first genuine act of faith that would set the stage for God to transform the course of Ashley’s life.  Over the years there have been countless stories of God using Ashley as an instrument to point others toward Himself.  I’d like to mention one that really stands out because it deals with me directly.

 

In Romans, and my girls can help me with this verse because we say it often, but in Romans 8:28, scripture says that we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.  My marriage to Ashley was no exception. God used Ashley to ‘sanctify’ my life.  When we got married, I was certainly rougher around the edges… and it’s ok to laugh at that because many of you know me and that’s the nicest way I could phrase it.  But through love and patience (and significant time in prayer)… she absolutely wrecked me in the best possible way.  She taught me what being compassionate looked like in practice.  She demonstrated what living with a deeply rooted faith brings; And that’s an unwavering trust that God’s promises are true.

 

God used our relationship to show me what being selfless looks like; what it means to consider the other’s needs as more important than my own.  I can’t emphasize this enough, without Ashley being used by God… I wouldn’t look anything like I do now.  Her legacy will continue on in me being a changed man because of what God did through her.  It will continue to have a direct impact on two other little redheads sitting down here. Speaking of the girls:  She loved them fiercely.  And they returned in kind.

 

Many of our final conversations centered around how this journey is / was worth it, if for nothing else that to share Jesus with them.  To show them that no matter the circumstance, His word is true, that He is good and that everything is held together through Jesus, up to and including our lives.

 

You’d think that after losing my wife, it might be easy to question the goodness of God; but I’m here to tell you that the goodness of God is even more present in these moments.  We are certainly in a fallen world; not one of us has escaped sin.  This sin separates us from a Holy God. BUT, Praise God for loving us so dearly that He made the way for us to be reconciled through Jesus’ death and resurrection… repentance of sin, professing Jesus as Lord and believing that God raised Him from the dead… that’s salvation.  Eternal Life with Him, forever, where there is no more sickness, no more pain, no more struggle, no more tears.  Simple process but a lifetime to live it out.

 

I will leave you with this:  Ashley was beautiful.  She was a redeemed sinner who spent her days growing in faith and striving to look more and more like Jesus.  Her life was lived in such a way that we all sit here encouraged by the woman God molded her to be.  She ached for those around her who didn’t know Jesus. There can be no better legacy to leave than to continue to do what she did on a regular basis and that’s to share Jesus with everyone we meet.  I hope you are a Christ Follower and if you aren’t I pray you would be, and that you would know this Hope that I have for an eternal life spent with Jesus once our time here comes to a close.

 

Thank you again for being here.

 

Thank you to those who traveled in and for those who were already in town.

 

Praise God for Ashley and for a life well lived.

 

Thank you.