Seems that change is the only constant. My next scan WAS planned for June 7th. I was gearing up to be emotionally prepared for that day. I was feeling pretty good and ready to go. Then, what seemed like the last minute, my scans and doctor's appointment were rescheduled to THIS Friday. The "Let's Go!" feeling vanished and was replaced with a rock in my tummy.
I needed a little time and space to cry and get it all out. The plan was to do all of that in my home. Obviously, that is the kind of thing to do IN. MY. HOME. Unfortunately, I don't get to control those emotions sometimes. They just come out when they come out. This past Sunday at church I went from smiling to "I have scans in FIVE days." I cried really hard at the desk in the preschool area. The only thing that makes it less embarrassing is that there were some babies also crying. Thank you friends of the Brook Hills Preschool Ministry for hugging me and listening to me. You are wonderful!!
When I have those hard, unexpected hard moments... life breathing scripture can point my heart to pure, sanctifying truth.
The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
Job 33:4
If I TRULY believe God's almighty breath gives me life... the fear of scans and prognosis cannot cripple me. In fact, it does the opposites; it strengthens me.
On Sunday, fear grabbed my heart. Today, I remember who made me and who sustains me.
Back when the original scan date was in June, we planned a family beach vacation for the following week. We decided to go to the beach as a family to celebrate God's goodness... no matter what the outcome of the scan showed. Regardless of any significant change or not, God is the one who holds this in His hands. We will praise Him if it's stable! We will praise Him if the tumor has grown!
Praise the Lord!
Praise, O servants of the Lord,
praise the name of the Lord!
Blessed be the name of the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore!
From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the Lord is to be praised!
Psalm 113:1-3
The beach vacation is still on for June! The girls are SO excited! My mom and sister will be there with us... it will be awesome! So, this weekend we will find another way to celebrate. Maybe with some ice cream, because, who doesn't love crazy kids on a sugar high?!
Thank you for continuing to come along side and pray for me and my sweet family. You are such an encouragement.
I needed a little time and space to cry and get it all out. The plan was to do all of that in my home. Obviously, that is the kind of thing to do IN. MY. HOME. Unfortunately, I don't get to control those emotions sometimes. They just come out when they come out. This past Sunday at church I went from smiling to "I have scans in FIVE days." I cried really hard at the desk in the preschool area. The only thing that makes it less embarrassing is that there were some babies also crying. Thank you friends of the Brook Hills Preschool Ministry for hugging me and listening to me. You are wonderful!!
When I have those hard, unexpected hard moments... life breathing scripture can point my heart to pure, sanctifying truth.
The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
Job 33:4
If I TRULY believe God's almighty breath gives me life... the fear of scans and prognosis cannot cripple me. In fact, it does the opposites; it strengthens me.
On Sunday, fear grabbed my heart. Today, I remember who made me and who sustains me.
Back when the original scan date was in June, we planned a family beach vacation for the following week. We decided to go to the beach as a family to celebrate God's goodness... no matter what the outcome of the scan showed. Regardless of any significant change or not, God is the one who holds this in His hands. We will praise Him if it's stable! We will praise Him if the tumor has grown!
Praise the Lord!
Praise, O servants of the Lord,
praise the name of the Lord!
Blessed be the name of the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore!
From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the Lord is to be praised!
Psalm 113:1-3
The beach vacation is still on for June! The girls are SO excited! My mom and sister will be there with us... it will be awesome! So, this weekend we will find another way to celebrate. Maybe with some ice cream, because, who doesn't love crazy kids on a sugar high?!
Thank you for continuing to come along side and pray for me and my sweet family. You are such an encouragement.
Lifting you all up in prayer
ReplyDeleteLifting you all up in prayer
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you. God will have you in His loving arms. Love you.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and trusting God with you!!! You are loved as well as your family!!!
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