The Worthwhile Wilt

Leaning into beautiful scripture. Perfect wind outside. I can hear the birds from my kitchen. Outside the girls have planted zinnias that have grown taller than they are. As the summer heat has beat down on the zinnias, they are beginning to wilt. Life circumstances seem to be the sun beating down on our family at this time. We often feel as if we too are wilting. 

The grass withers, the flower fades,

but the word of our Lord will stand forever.

Isaiah 40:8

The wind, the birds, and the flowers are all a part of God’s amazing creation. So is the sun. That very same sun that causes the flowers to wither. In His sovereignty, He allows the sun to shine although other parts of His creation will fade. I am a very loved part of His creation but the heart of life circumstances has beat down on our family… all of this happening under His sovereign plan. Many of you can identify with life circumstances that seem to beat down on you. 

In the mornings, when the girls are getting up for school, our youngest would prefer a few more minutes in bed instead of eagerly jumping up to face the day as the eldest does. Many of us would prefer to stay in bed and pull the covers over our head rather than face the hard things that await us. How can we face these things that threaten to wilt us? First things first, we must realize we are not alone in the battle. HE is with us. His love is ever ready to step in, encourage us, and to press us to lean in harder and trust in Him. 

The trials of cancer continue at our house. Side effects of drugs, battles with pharmacies over getting medications on time, and trying to protect our family from the other illnesses that are running rampant in our community.  Trials are hard. Trials are real. Trials are tough. Trials are inevitable. Trials are also guaranteed in our lives. God uses trials that we yield back to Him for His purpose.

Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, 

whenever you experience various trials, because 

you know that the testing of your faith produces 

endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, 

so that you may be mature and complete, 

lacking nothing.

James 1:2-4

When our tank was empty, You loved us. It is nothing short of grace that You help me push away those prideful thoughts in different areas. I never wanted to feel like “I need help with …” but the reality is, I do need help. I’m  now using a walker; and I’ll tell you, the pangs of pride kick in when you are 34 and having to use a walker. 

So, as it sits today, I’m on a new chemo that I started 6 or 7 weeks ago.  It hasn’t really had a significant set of side effects so that is a most gracious blessing and based on the last scans things don’t really appear to have progressed much.  I will certainly count that as a victory.  David has had some struggles with getting the next round because of some issues on the pharmacy’s end, but it appears that those are resolved and I should be starting my next round of chemo this weekend. I’m hopeful it continues to keep my cancer from growing.

The more struggles I face, the more I see an opportunity for God’s Glory to be known and increase.  My balance is failing me, my words fall short, my memory fades, but God sustains me (as only He can do).  He is the bedrock for my life and it is only by resting on that rock that I’m here to speak to how gracious He is.

My physical future may be growing dimmer as time moves on. It seems my days are growing in the challenge and no doubt it is only going to be harder….BUT His word is worthy. His call is worthy.  HE is worthy. He is the beginning and end. He is perfect.

Who covers the sky with clouds,

prepares rain for the earth,

and causes grass to grow on the hills.

Psalm 147:8

God is our refuge and strength,

a helper who is always found

in times of trouble.

Therefore we will not be afraid,

though the earth trembles…

Psalm 46:1-2a

Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this 

extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. 

We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; we are 

perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not 

abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. 

We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the 

life of Jesus may also be displayed in our body.

2 Corinthians 4:7-10