Ever Singing For Joy

Tunnels are interesting creations.  They are passageways from one point to another.  Sometimes they are big enough for people to move through, sometimes animals create their own and even still, water has the ability to channel its way underground creating its own tunnel.  Tunnels are meant for movement; whether intentional or through the natural unfolding of life.  The thing about tunnels, though, is that there is a start and an end, no one lives forever inside of one.  There is an old saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It is usually a phrase meant to encourage those who are in the thick of a situation.  When times are toughest, moments are darkest and encouragement is most needed. To see that light at the end of the tunnel, would signify that the darkness is soon to be extinguished by the light... that the journey is nearing its completion. We are certainly in the midst of a tunnel right now.   The sequence of ev...

I don't know where to begin.  A new beginning usually comes after something has ended.  So, maybe I don't know where to begin because I don't know where it all ended. I'm starting chemo on Wednesday (Feb. 26th).  It takes so much out of me. It hurts.  When I finished chemo the last time, my body was so weak and fragile.  Starting chemo again brings up memories that I'd rather forget.  It's not fun.  I lost a lot of weight.  My veins grew tired of being pricked.  At night, I'd lay on the floor next to a trashcan.  I would be sick all night... just trying to make it through.  Minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day... Chemo is HARD. There are different types of chemo with different types of side effects... but, if you are in this season or trying to recover; I love you and you are not alone. Behold, God is mighty, and does not despise any; he is mighty in strength of understanding. Job 36:5 So, let's step back and s...

Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do. ―  C.S. Lewis,  The Chronicles of Narnia There are days that you live through that you'll replay in your mind over and over again. You know, those kinds of days that are monumental, impactful, devastating, wonderful, full of big decisions, or even marked by a big event.  Yesterday, January 17th, 2020, will be one of those days for our family.  Before we get to the meat of what our day looked like yesterday, let's rewind a few months and recap some of what's been going on.  The next section will be fairly lengthy; so, if you don't have time to read the background or just want to skip ahead to our day yesterday scroll down to the section titled, The Day No One Wanted . Facebook brought up an 11 year memory.  We were but mere kids. As I started writing in my very first blog post, I'll take a minute to reiterate a handf...

Welcome to the new year! January 2020! With a new year, there is always a feeling for a fresh start. Whether it's new plans or goals or facing your greatest fear, it's fun to see a 'blank' canvas in front of you and move toward the future with excitement of the unknown. While you may have all of your 2020 mapped out, I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING OR WHAT I SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON. As 2020 has come, it's also brought with it fresh storms.  If you live in Alabama, you know it is quite literal (as there have been a handful of storms that have rolled through in the past week).  The rain, lightning, thunder, tornados and flooding are such a present reminder of the greatness of God's power and creation. Sign praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger Is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. - Psalm 30:4-5 The storms of ...

Merry Christmas (plus a few days)! I hope your Christmas was full of joy, laughs, ridiculous amounts of food * , movie watching and all of the joys of being around those who make you smile.  * Canned cranberry sauce excluded... **thumbs down** More than parties and presents this season, I hope this Christmas has brought you to the reason we celebrate in the first place.  I hope you know the greatest gift of all.  Jesus.  He is the root of the holiday, the sole reason we celebrate in the first place. Jesus, our Lord, has come! If your Christmas was not so merry, you, my friend are not alone.  I'm sorry for any circumstance that has made this season more difficult. For me, I was anxiously wondering if this would be my last Christmas.  I know too many who will have an extra chair at the table this year because the person who used to fill it is no longer here.  Families that are no longer as whole as they once were.  Other things could've c...

Tomorrow holds another set of scans and appointments.  I'm in a weird mix of being terrified and expectant.  How these two emotions can be intertwined, I have no idea. In every attempt to be truthful, I don't feel good.  I feel weak .  In every area and aspect of life right now, I feel weak .  A few of months ago, we had settled into a pretty good rhythm.  I was getting to get out with friends, take my girls to school, go out on Target runs and just generally operate within my new normal; but then the seizures returned and since that point I've gradually gotten weaker and more run down. This month has been really challenging physically.  We've added another seizure medication, not so much to eliminate the seizures (which is looking more likely that they will be here for the long haul) but more so to give us opportunity to grow in dosage compared to my old regimen.  This new medicine though, it's hit my body pretty hard.  My balance is ...

The unexpected seizure turned in to... seizures. If our house was an ocean, I'd say we've consistently seen some rough waters.  Yet, we have also seen beautiful sunrises. Since our big storm of a cancer diagnosis, the tide has been higher and the water a little rougher.  No smooth sailing for our crew, but the glimpses of God's Glory puts the journey back into perspective. There was a Sunday night, not too long ago, when the rolling waves grew into a choppy sea.  I had my a seizure.  It was the first in over 6 months period of stillness.  This seizure came and went in the span of a few minutes.  It was frustrating and disappointing all in that one moment.  I had a few long days and we assumed that I had just lowered my threshold and this was the price for the spent energy.  My medical team raised some of my medication to compensate.  However, a few days later, another seizure.  The next week... seizures.  It felt as though th...