Ever Singing For Joy

Waiting, Straining, Enduring... Reading, Listening, Praying... The road we are traveling is anything but straight, smooth and uneventful.  Over the past few months, I've sat back and watched Ashley put her thoughts together for these blog posts.  I'd take what she wrote on her iPhone and retype it all out here.  It's been so insightful to post what she's feeling.  However, tonight, I'm taking the helm.   It seems like our frequency of writing posts has waned over the past months, and while that has not been the intention, it is a product of circumstance.  Much like everyone  else in the world, we've been preoccupied with shifting schedules, COVID concerns, lifestyle adjustments and managing the kids (that's an entirely different post for another time).  We seem to only write these brief snippets into our world when we have an MRI or doctor visit.  This post being no exception.  However, with that being said, I thought I'd take a few...

My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long? Psalm 6:3 Suffering; in a small part.  That's what this stage of life feels like. "Lord please take it away.  I need you more than ever.  Lord, I love you.  God, please save me.  I am weak and faint.  God, you hear my prayer, I know you do.  I'm crying out for mercy." ...recently, my prayers to God have looked something like this. As a Christian, suffering shouldn't be a surprise.  But, I do get surprised.  Maybe a good tattoo would help with remembering to not be surprised :) [I can feel David's scoff from here] These last couple of weeks... they've been extra difficult.  Cancer has been kickin' my tail. I'm hurting in a lot of different ways.  My body just feels broken .  My heart is certainly fragile .  My energy is all but non-existent . Having cancer feels like a full time job, with no vacations or weekends.  Whether it is simple daily tasks, doctors' visits, ...

May is Brain Cancer Awareness month!  I don't know why I put an exclamation mark at the end of the sentence, other than to say I am really excited to share these moments with you. Brain Cancer is a funny subject.  Bringing awareness to it can make for some uncomfortable moments, but it does provide for opportunities to learn more and understand more about a specific cancer that can be really scary.  One thing this month is not, though, is a time for pity.  It is a time to listen, learn and care for our 'family' with brain cancer.  The weird thing is, for everyone that has brain cancer we are all bonded through that common point.  In that sense, it doesn't matter what race or creed or tribe, we all fight as one. Of course, like any other cancer awareness month, there is a color associated with Brain Cancer Month.  Here's the fun part: it's gray!  Though it may seem underwhelming as a color, there is a bit of humor in it.  The brain is comp...

Have you ever had a verse that just lands so perfectly in a season that you know it was God ordained to hear it? When we put the girls down at night, we do a short Bible devotional.  There's one page in the book that our youngest asks for EVERY night.  We think it's really more about the picture (a cup of milk that is running over because the mom is continuing to pour milk in it).  There have been literal tantrums thrown in our house by said daughter over this very topic.  We ALL know this verse because we read this page frequently.  We ALL know it is on page 209 in the book. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Psalm 23:5 The first time we actually read this devotion... it sat heavy on my heart.  ...my cup overflows. What a simple verse that has taken up root in my heart.  These little words felt so distant from me.  When I look at my cup right ...

Tunnels are interesting creations.  They are passageways from one point to another.  Sometimes they are big enough for people to move through, sometimes animals create their own and even still, water has the ability to channel its way underground creating its own tunnel.  Tunnels are meant for movement; whether intentional or through the natural unfolding of life.  The thing about tunnels, though, is that there is a start and an end, no one lives forever inside of one.  There is an old saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It is usually a phrase meant to encourage those who are in the thick of a situation.  When times are toughest, moments are darkest and encouragement is most needed. To see that light at the end of the tunnel, would signify that the darkness is soon to be extinguished by the light... that the journey is nearing its completion. We are certainly in the midst of a tunnel right now.   The sequence of ev...

I don't know where to begin.  A new beginning usually comes after something has ended.  So, maybe I don't know where to begin because I don't know where it all ended. I'm starting chemo on Wednesday (Feb. 26th).  It takes so much out of me. It hurts.  When I finished chemo the last time, my body was so weak and fragile.  Starting chemo again brings up memories that I'd rather forget.  It's not fun.  I lost a lot of weight.  My veins grew tired of being pricked.  At night, I'd lay on the floor next to a trashcan.  I would be sick all night... just trying to make it through.  Minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day... Chemo is HARD. There are different types of chemo with different types of side effects... but, if you are in this season or trying to recover; I love you and you are not alone. Behold, God is mighty, and does not despise any; he is mighty in strength of understanding. Job 36:5 So, let's step back and s...

Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do. ―  C.S. Lewis,  The Chronicles of Narnia There are days that you live through that you'll replay in your mind over and over again. You know, those kinds of days that are monumental, impactful, devastating, wonderful, full of big decisions, or even marked by a big event.  Yesterday, January 17th, 2020, will be one of those days for our family.  Before we get to the meat of what our day looked like yesterday, let's rewind a few months and recap some of what's been going on.  The next section will be fairly lengthy; so, if you don't have time to read the background or just want to skip ahead to our day yesterday scroll down to the section titled, The Day No One Wanted . Facebook brought up an 11 year memory.  We were but mere kids. As I started writing in my very first blog post, I'll take a minute to reiterate a handf...

Welcome to the new year! January 2020! With a new year, there is always a feeling for a fresh start. Whether it's new plans or goals or facing your greatest fear, it's fun to see a 'blank' canvas in front of you and move toward the future with excitement of the unknown. While you may have all of your 2020 mapped out, I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING OR WHAT I SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON. As 2020 has come, it's also brought with it fresh storms.  If you live in Alabama, you know it is quite literal (as there have been a handful of storms that have rolled through in the past week).  The rain, lightning, thunder, tornados and flooding are such a present reminder of the greatness of God's power and creation. Sign praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger Is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. - Psalm 30:4-5 The storms of ...