Ever Singing For Joy

The hardest part of writing is getting started.  That may not be true for everyone, but it's absolutely the case when I want to put an update together.  I usually spend a couple of hours writing and editing posts (at least for the ones that aren't quick updates).  If I don't think I can do it all in one pass, I put it off and wait until I can find those moments.  Well, with the hustle and bustle of life lately, 'a couple of hours' chunks don't really avail themselves very often.  I say all of this to say, I owe you, the reader, a bit of an apology.  We have done a poor job in recent months of providing updates on Ashley and the journey our family is walking.  We appreciate those who have reached out in the absence of those updates to check in and ask how things are going. So here we are, four months since our last update.  It's been a bit of a mixed bag in terms of how things are going.  Here's a high level run down of the high points. Let's ...

Leaning into beautiful scripture. Perfect wind outside. I can hear the birds from my kitchen. Outside the girls have planted zinnias that have grown taller than they are. As the summer heat has beat down on the zinnias, they are beginning to wilt. Life circumstances seem to be the sun beating down on our family at this time. We often feel as if we too are wilting.  The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our Lord will stand forever. Isaiah 40:8 The wind, the birds, and the flowers are all a part of God’s amazing creation. So is the sun. That very same sun that causes the flowers to wither. In His sovereignty, He allows the sun to shine although other parts of His creation will fade. I am a very loved part of His creation but the heart of life circumstances has beat down on our family… all of this happening under His sovereign plan. Many of you can identify with life circumstances that seem to beat down on you.  In the mornings, when the girls are getting up f...

There are no surprises to God.  He is not caught off guard by what He is sovereign over.  His unending love, His power, His presence... It is all a part of His character.  Though these trials that we face can catch us off balance, the fact that God is the rock and the foundation to my soul is the one thing that steadies my heart.  Learning to grow in the truth that He, and He alone, is the foundation on which everything hinges is where my heart finds itself these days. Does that mean it's easy? No. This is absolutely the hardest trial that I'll face and in recent weeks the feeling of struggle and suffering has only increased. There are moments when I find it hard to trust in the plan that the Lord has for me.  There are times that I wonder what's coming around the corner.  The only peace that comes is knowing that God has written this story and has produced it from the beginning and, in ways I won't understand, that by learning to grow in that peace (the ki...

So, this will be the second blog post I've written in less than 14 days.  I haven't done that in a while.  I wish I didn't have to do it now.  It usually means there is a lot happening or significant changes in Ash's health that need to be shared; unfortunately, this time is no different.  I'll pre-apologize for poor grammar and/or misspellings... I am likely not going to proof this before I post it since it's late and I want to push an update since it's been a few days.. Ashley had an MRI and a NeuroOnc appointment this past Friday.  It was such a long day for her.  We had an early morning start and wound up getting back home mid-afternoon.  For her, that's SUCH a long day; draining to the point where it took her well into Saturday to somewhat recover.  If you'll remember back to April, Ash had an MRI and there was a notable area of concern on her scan.  It wasn't quite pronounced enough for the radiologist to move off of calling her tumor s...

Trust in him at all times, O people pour out your heart before him God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8 It's been a minute since we've last posted a medical update on Ashley's.  Lately, the attention has been focused on When I Hold You  and its release. The unfolding of that blessing has been nothing short of an encouragement as of late.  We are truly thankful that the Lord opened so many doors along the way and continued to provide opportunities to speak to His nearness and gentleness. Like all good things though, we can't live in those moments indefinitely.  Reality has a funny way of knocking on the door.  The truth of the matter is, these past few months have been both incredibly rewarding, but also incredibly sobering.   Ashley has steadily declined in her general function.  Before you take that last sentence and get caught in a somber mood, let me walk you through what I mean.  A couple of months ago when Ash had her last set of scan...

It’s real.️ It has a cover. Pages. Words. Rhythms. Pictures. And a Title, When I Hold You. My heart flutters when I see it. The book may have my name on the front, but this is ALL the Lord!  A few days ago, I got really big box on my front porch. It was HEAVY… like whoa heavy! I definitely should have waited for David to move the box inside. But all is well, the girls and I managed to get it in. I didn't know what was in the box. The girls were having fun opening the box… then before I knew it, I had TEARS! The box was filled with copies of my book!! I was completely overwhelmed. I could feel God being so tender with my heart in those moments. All of those struggles with being able to write met with a crash of praising loudly for all he has done. Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is in your midst,     a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness;     he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singin...

There's some exciting news on the home front; a welcomed respite from the struggles of the recent months. If you'll remember a post or two ago, I mentioned that Ashley had been working on a side project. I called it a side project because we'd been working through a lot of the struggles that came along with her cancer, but in reality, this project consumed a lot of Ashley's time and energy.  It was not a side project. Over the course of the past 2+ years, maybe even longer than that, Ashley has been working on a book.  You read that correctly, a book.  A children's book, more specifically, entitled it When I Hold You.   I cannot think of a better name for this book. I could go on about the backstory (and probably will in the coming days), but I'll put some of Ashley's words below about why she wrote this and how it all came to pass: I wrote this out of obedience to Christ.  As I started my recovery from my initial surgery and treatments, I never set out wit...

  I cry out to God Most High, to God, who vindicates me. He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me God sends forth his love and his faithfulness... For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth. Psalm 57 2-3;10-1 1 Sweet friends, we love you and are so grateful for the ways you have loved and cared for us.  It has been quite the blessing of friendship. In recent days, our house has certainly felt the familiar  feeling of "this is too much... again".  Earlier this month, I tested positive for COVID.  Cancer and COVID... it's been really, really hard.  The waves that are lapping against our boat are certainly growing stronger at times.  The seas are rocking harder and harder and if I'm honest, I'm ready for a break. Oh God, would you give us a lifeboat. My personal experience with COVID is unique to me and I'm ...

Two blog posts in almost as many days... That hasn't happened in a long while.  Let me take a few minutes to thank those who have reached out over the past few days.  Our family greatly appreciates you and your investment in our lives.  God has certainly surrounded us with a great cloud of witnesses. I need to take a few minutes to offer some clarity on where we are now.  [When I write these posts, they are often a stream of consciousness.  It's to provide insight into our journey, but it's also ( almost more so ) for my own personal therapy .  It's somewhat of a mix of record-keeping and mental unloading.  I tend to write and unpack the moments that are significant ( to me)  and that I want to hold on to for the future ( but not necessarily in my head, rather "on paper") .] With that being said, based on a lot of the questions and messages I took in over the past week, I do think I need to provide an update on where we are actually sitting today....

The changing of the seasons is always a welcomed experience in Alabama.  To go from the exhaustive heat of Summer to the crisp (albeit brief) chill of the Autumn air to landing the plane in the cantankerous, somewhat unpredictable Winter... the narrative of the changing seasons parallels life so well.  As a family, we've enjoyed some really great, memory filled moments over the past 6 months; we've also had some really tough, also unforgettable moments during that time as well.  The main takeaway is that much like the seasons, changes in life are inevitable and with each of life's seasons there are ups and downs and, yet, everything keeps moving forward. Undoubtedly, it seems that some of my recent, relatively vague facebook posts have generated a little bit of curiosity so let's shoot back to a little over a month ago (right before Christmas) and recap what's been going on. This stands to be a fairly long post catching everyone up so if you really don't want to...